So I know people have been checking up on the site waiting for updates and new content. I've apologized so many times for not putting up content that it makes my apologies seem useless. SO I am done apologizing && I will stat explaining,
The last semester of college almost broke me; my spirits were extremely low && I was starting to slope back into a deep depression. So instead of taking time to deal with my depression I dove further into school so I could "Just get through it" But then I found out halfway through the semester that my back was broken, I have currently 4 ruptured discs in my back && another one that is bulging. I am typically an rather strong person, normally the pressure of school && something like this would push me to do better because I got two beautiful sets of blue eyes looking up to me for all the answers && how to act but it didn't. To be honest I am just terrified about my back && I'm trying to spend time doing everything I can while I am in the "This hurts" stage. I've seen people with ruptured discs first hand people who I looked up to and thought were incredibly strong. I watched them decline && the saddest part is it was watching abled body people lose their spirits, be drained of life. So I am trying very hard to stay positive about this, I don't want to end up like my friends && family, I don't want to be swept away by the currant of depression BUT it's easier said than done. Truth is when I found out it destroyed my plans for my career && my future that I've been working so hard for. I have started to go back to school for criminal justice, I wanted to be an "on the beat" officer or be in the national guard. I wanted to go out && make a difference. When I found out about my discs I was told that the academy wouldn't take me && that I would no longer qualify for boot camp. NOW I've had my dreams crushed before, I'm no stranger to adapting && finding a new path. But I was so flushed with frustration it's made it hard to focus on anything but the negatives.
The positives are still here though. I have three family members getting married this year, My son is starting kindergarten in September, I will be graduating with one degree && transferring to another college to move forward with being a lawyer as the end goal this time, I am going to be getting treatment for my back that (hopefully) will work && Keep me out of surgery but until then I will be spending this entire summer trying to hike, kayak, run, && play with my amazing family.
So I am not sorry that I haven't wrote because if I wrote while super depressed I don't think that would help anyone, Certainly not me. BUT next time I will give everyone a heads up when I need to take a break. Thanks for being so understanding && I look forward to giving y'all some quality content soon!
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